I'm going to come clean straight away and confess I've never sent my dad a Fathers Day card. In fact, I'm not sure that Father's Day existed when I was a child. So instead of the gloopy, soppy I love you Dad sentimentality that you can find in any overpriced greeting card, I gathered together a small collection of Paul's funny poems about fathers. Why not learn one by heart and recite it to your pater on fathers day? It may not delight him as much as an expensive gift, but it will at least remind him that you exist.
Is your dad a superhero, a superdad or a superdud? Superdad is a slightly tongue in cheek poem about a father who has many and obvious failings, but who is not without his redeeming features.
A funny poem about a father's attempts to distance himself from his children. For those readers who are not familiar with the concept, (Dr) Barnado's is a UK charity which in the past ran homes for children who were parentless for one reason or another.
A joke poem (for those of you who aren't keeping up, that's a funny joke retold in verse form) about the disastrous consequences a father's visit to an Indian takeaway. Don't worry, it's not as lavatorial as you may be expecting.
Paul suggested that I included this poem with the fathers day poems, but it's really more a man poem, or indeed a boy poem, rather than just a poem about fathers. If any female readers are feeling excluded at this point, they'll be relieved when they read the poem (small pun intended).
Sincere, straighforward and sentimental, Who Loves Us? exists in three forms, for Fathers Day, Mothers Day and the yet to be invented Parents Day (I know they have parents day at school, but that's nothing to do with love or affection)
A poem in praise of Dad, which might even be suitable for serenading the pater familias.
I'm going ultimately to include this poem in both the mothers day and fathers day poetry collections. It is the perfect parents' day poem for an age obsessed by sexual equality, as it's adoring of mothers and quite scathing of fathers.