Happy Families - Funny Poems About Family Life

The section is called funny family poems because the poems are family-friendly - they won't turn around and bite you - and they're about families, family members and life at home. In fact, the poems are about people in general - not famous people, just ordinary people like you or me, who lead normal lives and have friends and enemies, arguments, pet zebras and who occasionally do really stupid things.

The Dentist

A poem about a visit to the dentist (don't we all love visiting the dentists!) in which the dentist hardly has time to say 'this won't hurt at all'.

Tricks of The Mind

As people get older, they become more forgetful, a condition known in it's severest form as dementia. Tricks of the Mind is a poem about a grandfather who is both a famous conjurer and a dementia sufferer.

Mr Toad

My brother-in-law keeps on buying faster and faster cars and drives like a maniac, rather like Mister Toad in The Wind in the Willows. I sometimes wish he would be sent to jail and have to dress as a washerwoman to escape. Oh dreams, dreams, envy, envy.

Ex Libris

A poem which explains why 'never a lender nor a borrower be' is a good maxim for life, or at least for library books.

Mixed Drinks

If people (usually parents) ask you to do jobs around the house, you'll find that if you always do them wrong then eventually they'll stop asking (although it might take a few years to work).

Of Sound Mind

It is possible that the title is cleverer that the poem, or indeed that the poem is cleverer than the reader. If it sends you scurrying for the dictionary, don't forget to put it back when you've finished with it. If you don't own a dictionary, perhaps it's time to read the next poem.

The Sick Note

When adults are off work they have to get a 'sick note' to convince their boss they really were ill - rather like the notes kids have to take to school which are often equally unconvincing.

Poste Haste

I always give my postman a cheery wave as he delivers my letters, then spend half an hour chasing him down the street as most have been delivered to the wrong address. I'm not saying that a gastropod would make a better postman, but I'd be willing to give it a try.

Muddleheaded Mary

Mary had a little lamb is a familiar nursery rhyme. In this parody poor Mary couldn't find her lamb, leading to all sorts of domestic complications.

The Fussy Eater

A poem to be enjoyed by children who are picky about their poetry, and no, you don't have to eat the peas, or the carrots, or the ...

Sunday Lunch

Another poem about eating... This time it's by Kate Williams and the subject is the battles surrounding Sunday lunch.

Mum's the Word

A slightly mischievous poem about a mother who claims to have mystical qualities, but is in fact rather more than she seems.

Copyright © Funny Poems for Kids / Patrick Winstanley 2002-2018 All Rights Reserved.
Individual poems are copyright of the stated authors and used with permission