About the Poem

A nonsense poem which seems to be about nothing in particular and may or may not be mildly rude.


Rude Rhymes


Nonsense poem


12 lines

Key Stage

KS2, KS3


Max Scratchmann

Naked Breakfast

The custard sat upon the fat, the nursemaid counted three,
The moomrath jigged upon the mat while the stripper drank her tea.
The jelly danced the pas de deux, the wombat sang the blues,
And four and twenty bright young men went out in blue suede shoes.

The doormat sang a sad, sad song, the walrus played his horn,
And the colander felt water drain when a milk-white mare was born.
Three pussy cats did wail all night, two doggies barked in rhyme,
And Andre Diggs, the demon chef, swam in the Serpentine.

But alas, alack, the ghosts came back, and rattled their chain and ball,
And Annie Sprinkle peed all night, while at Carnegie Hall,
And so our story here must cease, our tale must surely end,
Or else go on for twenty years, and drive you round the bend.

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved

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