About the Poem

A paradoxical poem about a boy who lives on oyster bones and in the process incurs the wrath of the native pyster population.


Scary Halloween Poems


Nonsense verse


12 lines

Key Stage

KS2, KS3


Max Scratchmann

The Oyster Hunter

Alfred Alfredo Magnificent Jones,
Was a boy who lived only on oyster bones,
He camped by the sea and hunted by night,
With mirror and candle, he caused quite a fright.

As he tiptoed through rock-pools 'neath dark midnight sky,
While the Man in the Moon, he winked a green eye,
And oyster after oyster was gobbled with glee,
Crunching their bones as he waded in the sea.

So the oysters went out to the king of the deep,
Your Highness, our bones, we would like for to keep,
Protect us, we beg you, from the marauding young Jones,
Who prowls in the dark for fresh oyster bones.

So Neptune, he sent out an octopus black,
Who carried slimy things in a big burlap sack,
And when Alfred went out, with his net, from the shore,
The octopus pounced, and he was heard of no more.

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved

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