Sick Poets Competition Winners

The Sick Poets competition was judged on Monday 16th November 2009 by Beth, who works in a school for very naughty young boys and Riah, who is a student and so has plenty of time for fun things like reading funny poems and helping Timmy with his Facebook page. The judges were again impressed by the quality of all the entries, but they were unanimous in their choice of winners. In addition this year, we have a special prize in the gift of my niece Hannah, who is the only child who has had poems refused entry to the competition (on quality grounds) two years in a row! She's an excellent judge of a funny poem, though.

Children's Poetry Competition - Under 8 First Prize

Dragon in my Throat
by Olivia De Simone

When I have a sore throat,
My temperature gets higher,
And when I breath in and out,
It feels like blowing dragon fire!

We drive up to the surgery,
Then we have to wait!
The doctor tells me to say "Ahh",
"Ok. That's great!"

He shines a really bright torch,
Right down into my throat,
And when he pulls it out again,
He looks like he's going to choke!

My throat was very, very hot,
The torch looks melted and wrong,
What a shock that in my throat,
A baby dragon sat there all along!

A most imaginative poem by Olivia, aged 6, who lives in Wigan, Lancashire. Olivia's Mum said that Olivia spent hours 'perfecting' the poem before it could be sent in - time well spent, as it's an exceptional poem from such a young poet. Congratulations.

Children's Poetry Competition - Under 8 First Prize

Doctor, Doctor
by Miriam Barker-Lanzi

Doctor, doctor
I think my teddy is sick
We were playing in the garden
And he ate a stick.
I'm worried Doc, will he survive?
Does he need an operation?
Will he come out alive?
Has he got pneumonia?
Doctor, is he to survive?
Has he got lymphoma?
Or a faulty heart?
If it were to stop
You could surely make it start.
Come, there is nothing wrong with your ted
Said the Doctor
He merely needs a day in bed.

Miriam is 12 and lives in Australia. It can sound patronising to describe someone's poem as sweet, but I thought Miriam's teddy bear poem was sweet, cute, cuddly, adorable and, most of all, very, very funny.

Children's Poetry Competition - Under 8 First Prize

We have to do a test at school
by Natasha Kotadia

We have to do a test at school, and I don’t know what to say!
I need to give my mum an excuse, to keep me off school today
I’ll tell her I have a bit of cough and I’m always having to sneeze
I’ll tell her I have a runny nose and I’ve caught a deadly disease

I’ll tell her I have a stomach ache and that my throat is really sore
I’ll tell her I’ve ran into the bathroom and puked all over the floor
I’ll tell her I have an awful cold and my fingers are turning blue
I’ll tell her I have a horrible fever and I frequently go to the loo

My alarm went off, but I didn’t get up I just snuggled into my bed
I faked a few coughs, a couple of sneezes and put an ice-pack on my head
As my mother came in, I told her my lies and I faked a pitiful weep
She giggled and laughed “Its Sunday you fool! Now go on back to sleep!”

My Name is Natasha Kotadia, I'm 13 years old and I live in Leicester, England. Honestly...I can't remeber when i wrote the poem, it was quite a long time ago...I'd say a couple of months. I hope you like it! Thank you, Natasha, for a really good and very funny poem - I'm an absolute sucker for a poem with a twist in the tail.

Children's Poetry Competition - Under 8 First Prize

A Sick Class
by Ruhee Parelkar

Miss Matilda’s class is full of mess
What’s the reason, can you guess?
Little John has a running nose,
He needs a bitter medicine dose.
Samantha has fever, she is ill,
She looks like a withered daffodil.
Tim says he has a stomach ache,
It’s all because of his chocolate cake.
Pretty Mary has a fractured finger,
And her pain continues to linger.
Mathew’s face has some red dots,
I wonder if they are chickenpox spots!
Poor Lily sneezes every now and then,
She sneezes, stops and sneezes again!
Miss Matilda has an unhappy day
So she declared a HOLIDAY!

Ruhee, who is 7 years old and lives in Ahmedabad, India, entered the Fussy Poets competition last year and came very close to winning. I love her entry in this year's competition, particularly the lines Samantha has fever, she is ill, She looks like a withered daffodil. A wonderful simile.

Prizes for All?

You may have noticed that there are more prizes than Timmy originally intended, but with so many entries we had to split the aged 8 and over entries into two separate age groups. Even then, there were some really brilliant poems that didn't catch the judges' eyes. If you didn't win, good luck for the shape poetry competition next year.

Copyright © Funny Poems for Kids / Patrick Winstanley 2002-2018 All Rights Reserved.
Individual poems are copyright of the stated authors and used with permission